I struggled my whole life.
I searched for a way and a place to belong. It hurt to be in my own skin: uncomfortable, depressed, lonely, aching, and longing for something to fill the hole inside me.
No matter what I did, where I went, or how I searched, I always felt hungry. There had to be something more out there: something that would make me feel better, something to fulfill me. I obeyed all the rules and took all the advice I was given, but they didn’t do anything for the void I felt. I felt as if life was a puzzle, and I was missing the piece that made it liveable. Other people seemed to be functioning, but I couldn’t figure out the secret.
Through depression and pain and unspeakable suffering, I survived the best I could, but I always kept searching. And then I began to find what I was looking for:
It was me.
I was what I had been looking for.
I had spent my life cutting myself off from feeling, absorbing harmful beliefs, avoiding conflict, pleasing others, pushing down discomfort, and hiding my true self. When I wasn’t present in me, I also couldn’t be fully present for all of life around me.
When I began to reconnect to self, I realized I wanted a life of significance—I had been born, as all of us have, with care, skills, and an ability to serve others from a deep well of experience and love.
Now, everything I am is here to serve, to write, to encourage, to heal, from this place of heart-connection so that others can find hope and fully embrace their own selves.